Trump’s new cringe ploy to save floundering festival ignites firestorm

What do you do when you’re a president with a birthday party being abandoned by all the entertainment? If you’re President Donald Trump you offer to fill the hole yourself.

“I understand Artists are getting ‘the yips’ having to do with their performance on Wednesday, so I am thinking about bringing the Number One Attraction anywhere in the World,” Trump posted on Truth Social with a long run-on sentence, “the man who gets much larger audiences than Elvis in his prime, and he does so without a guitar, the man who loves our Country more than anyone else, and the man who some say is the Greatest President in History (THE GOAT!), DONALD J. Trump to take the place of these highly paid, Third Rate ‘Artists,’ and give a major speech, rallying the Country forward like I have done ever since being President!”

“Third rate” artists — which Trump nevertheless saw fit to hire — have flown his Freedom 250 event, many claiming they were lied to about the nature of the celebration, while others were likely trying to escape the stain of Trump’s historically bad polls.

Sounding like the only kid to show up at his own birthday party, Trump insisted that his popularity was without peer on Truth Social.

“Two years ago, the United States was DEAD. Now we have the ‘HOTTEST’ Country anywhere in the World. I don’t want so-called ‘Artists’ that get paid far too much money, who aren’t happy. I only want to be surrounded by Happy People, Smart People, Successful People, and People that know how to WIN,” insisted Trump, adding that he was ordering “representatives to look at the feasibility of doing an AMERICA IS BACK Rally on Wednesday.”

“Only Great Patriots invited,” Trump added. “It will be a Wild and Beautiful Celebration of America! President DONALD J. Trump.”

Predictably, critics on X mangled this latest, lowly hail mary to save his collapsing event.

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to…” howled one critic on X.” But some of the worst hits came from Trump’s own MAGA element.

“Might be an unpopular opinion on here but replacing a concert with a speech is lame and boring,” said right-wing theocrat influencer and podcaster Matt Walsh on X. “Just go out and get real musicians to play. Don’t cancel the concert just because a bunch of washed up old has-beens canceled. There are hundreds of artists out there who might not be famous but would absolutely leap at the chance to play on a stage like this.”

“You all knew this was coming ... lol,” posted Red State conservative writer “Bonchie.”

Others were even less accommodating.

“Would like an apology from everyone who scolded me the other day for calling the Freedom 250 festival Trump’s ‘Celebrate Me’ festival,” said singer Brad Skistimas, on X. “It’s not about him!!” Yes it is. It’s always about him. And I wouldn’t put it past this admin to have announced a crummy line up just so everyone would cancel so Trump could book himself a speech.”

Another X heckler suggested Trump “get some technochuds to create an ambient track to play while he gives his speech for some Spoken Word.”

• george conway
• noam chomsky
• civil war
• Kayleigh mcenany
• Melania trump
• drudge report
• paul krugman
• Lindsey graham
• Lincoln project
• al franken bill maher
• People of praise
• Ivanka trump
• eric trump