Retro romance: Reclaiming the ’80s at Albay’s queer speed dating night

ALBAY, Philippines – A new generation is shifting the Bicolano ’80s narrative from one of conservative silence to a celebration of queer connection, and an Albay cafe is leading the charge through coffee, community, and a night of unapologetic and inclusive speed dating. 

For Mida Casulla, owner of Kapihan, the queer community still faces widespread prejudice — a reality that fuels her advocacy for spaces where identity can be expressed without fear.

Despite the prevailing prejudice, “so many continue to embrace who they are and support one another,” Casulla said. “At Kapihan, we want to champion that kind of love and courage.”

CHEMISTRY TEST. From random trivia to deep-seated passions, joiners fill the cafe with laughter as they explore new connections, one conversation at a time. Photo by Zachary Oliver Gonzales/Rappler

Struggles of the ’80s

While the 1980s were an era when many were forced to remain in the closet, Casulla chose the theme as a form of “reimagined history.”

“In the ’80s, almost no one was out,” Casulla shared. “We envisioned a version of that era where Kapihan existed in a more open, embracing society. We are bringing back that time — but in a better way — to help us learn acceptance and be more inclusive in the present.”

The 1980s represent a pivotal shift in the global gay political movement, a decade defined by both landmark milestones and grueling challenges. In his book Gay in the ’80s, Colin Clews describes this era as the “emergence of a global gay culture,” while warning of the necessity of historical memory.

Clews said that the decade was fraught with religious persecution and the devastating stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS. In Albay — often considered the heart of Philippine Catholicism — this stigma has echoed for decades, fostering a culture of fear and silence that still hinders vital testing and treatment efforts today. (READ: Beyond numbers: How stigma impedes HIV testing in Albay).

Casulla noted that the Kapihan event is more than just dating; it’s a way for the establishment to rally alongside the LGBTQ+ community in pursuit of genuine inclusivity and spaces safe from judgment.

KINSHIP. Beyond the search for romance, attendees highlight the need for a community that offers safety and silence away from the relentless hum of the digital age. Photo by Zachary Oliver Gonzales/Rappler

Organic encounter 

The night began with stiff smiles and a heavy silence, but as the first few words were exchanged, the tension melted into laughter that filled the cafe’s dim, warm glow. Soon enough, the room was buzzing as participants leaned in, trading stories about life, their community, and the social causes they champion — sparking instant bonds across the tables.

For Jane, a participant who requested to remain anonymous, the event was a refreshing change of pace. She believes speed dating is a must-try for anyone tired of the usual dating app routine, praising Kapihan for bringing such a diverse yet compatible group together.

“It was a wonderful experience, even if it was a bit scary at first because everyone was a stranger,” she said. “It’s great that Kapihan organized this, especially since queer-centered speed dating is so rare here in Albay.”

According to the participants, the night offered more than a shot at romance. It gave them a network of people who truly saw one another, reaching far beyond the filtered surface of a dating profile.

HEART-STOPPING. Stepping into the world of speed dating for the first time, one participant describes the experience as a dizzying blur — initially daunting yet ultimately exhilarating. Photo by Zachary Oliver Gonzales/Rappler

“For the queer community, speed dating provides a safe, welcoming space, where individuals can meet without the fear of deception, promoting inclusivity and acceptance,” said event moderator Grant Earl Acuña. “It allows participants to truly get to know each other beyond just appearances, building trust and meaningful connections.”

By leaning into organic, face-to-face interaction, the format offers a level of authenticity that dating apps and social media often lack, Acuña said.

“It allows people to form connections that go beyond mere photos and profiles,” Acuña said. “Unlike dating apps, speed dating minimizes the risk of catfishing and fosters genuine rapport from the start.”

“Ultimately, speed dating is about more than just romantic possibilities; it creates a supportive network where people can find friendship, community, and understanding, enriching their social lives in meaningful ways,” Acuña added. – Rappler.com